I hate your face
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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