whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
