He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
