he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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