he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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