Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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