my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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