More tranny stories later!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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