Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
