I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
