The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
we should paint friendship bongs
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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