me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
