How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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