My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
