we have pet lesbian snakes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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