i just had sex bonerless
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
