Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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