so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
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Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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