Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
