ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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