i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize