we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
