I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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