If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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