My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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