im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
