i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
