so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
