chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
