I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize