this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize