hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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