we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
