White coat. Heels.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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