i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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