she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
