Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
