Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
