Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
