I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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