you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
