I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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