So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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