Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
