Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
