Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
