well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
