all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
