she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
