Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
