grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
