i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
