They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why do cheetos always look like penises
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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