Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize