could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
