Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I wear drunk well.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
