can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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