I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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