i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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