i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
