apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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