he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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